• Making snow angels
• Watching the kids climb mounds of snow
• Sipping hot chocolate together
• Playing board games (Our new favorite is Blokus.)
• Watching movies as a family (Elf, again)
• Curling up with a good book

Aren’t these some of the same things that we resist “taking the time” to enjoy during a typical work week?  Try this instead:  Give yourself over to the fun this week and pay attention to how you feel.  You might just remember that you actually loved playing in the snow as a kid, or you’ve missed reading out loud as a family.  These things aren’t just a gift to yourself, either.  Letting your own kids see the “kid” in you come out more completely is a gift they’ll remember for a long time!

Others think that good parenting is something that’s passed down from generation to generation. We either see it modeled for us in our parents and grandparents, or we don’t.

But truthfully, most of us didn’t have a picture-perfect upbringing, and we don’t feel 100% confident about every parenting decision we make. It is hard work. Probably much harder than any of us recognized when we first dreamed of having children.

Add to this how much our culture has changed in the last two decades, and it’s a whole new world from the one we ourselves grew up in. Did our parents have to put limits on how much TV we watched, or how much time we spent on the computer? We hadn’t even dreamed of the Internet yet, so online safety wasn’t an issue.

As a result, even parents who did have great examples to follow may wonder what, exactly, to do in the situations they face with their children today. And that’s where parent coaching can help a parent to become more confident in his or her decisions and parenting style.

What Parent Coaching is:
As a parent coach, I help parents identify their family’s strengths so that they can use that information to address their biggest challenges.

What Parent Coaching is Not:
Parent coaching is not judgmental, and it’s different from consulting or counseling. As a coach, I rarely tell clients “what to do.” Instead, I provide opportunities for parents to articulate what they already know about their own children. The result is that my clients often come up with their own solutions in the process of our conversations!

Try Parent Coaching Yourself:
See for yourself what coaching is like by using the “Book Now” button on the homepage to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation.

1. Give your child a voice. Make sure that your child knows that she can come to you any time she’s having a problem.  This isn’t something that we just say once or twice; it’s something that we demonstrate to our kids by “dropping everything” when they need to talk about a serious problem. In addition, you may be tempted to tell your child exactly what to do to handle the issue.  Instead, ask her to come up with a list of three possible solutions.  This will help her to see that she does have options and that she isn’t completely powerless.
2. Help your child identify healthy relationships. Our kids need to be able to identify the characteristics in others that make for great friendships.  For example, when we see our “friends” putting others down or talking behind some else’s back, we start to get an idea that they might do the same thing to us.  But when we see our friends sticking up for others and being honest, even when it’s not popular, these individuals stand out to us as great life-long friend material.
3. Take the time to develop your child’s talents. Knowing that we’re really “good” at something is a great confidence booster.  Help your child to uncover and develop his own unique talents so that he can begin to recognize what makes him stand out among his peers.  This not only boosts your child’s self-confidence, but it also reinforces the idea that there’s more to life than his current peer relationships.

1. When they feel like talking, drop everything and listen. Remember joking that your preschooler wouldn’t stop talking?  Those days are now over.  Now, when your tween opens up, you have to train yourself to seize the moment and pay attention.
2. Enter their world. Is there something that is important to your tween that you, perhaps, don’t care so much about?  This might be a sport, a game, or a style of music.  Whatever it is, ask your tween to share it with you.  This lets your tween know that you care about what is most important to them, and that you care about them enough to enter their world.
3. Continue to parent. Your tween needs you to continue to set boundaries and maintain expectations.  While cultivating and maintaining a close relationship is important – and so enjoyable! – it’s also vital that you continue to be your child’s parent.  Tweens are still kids, and they need your guidance and input just as much as they always have.

1. Offer a new mom support group.
2. Create a “warm line” – a phone number new moms in your area can call for support.
3. Get together once a month, or once a quarter, to prepare meals that can be frozen and delivered to new moms as needed.
4. Send a card to let a new mom know you’re thinking of her.
5. Offer to babysit for a new mom’s older children, so she can spend some one-on-one time with her new addition.
6. Give a new mom a night off!  Offer to babysit all of her kids so she can take a breather.
7. Lend your ear.  Even experienced moms go through an adjustment period during the first few months, and just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference.

Ready to get started?  Visit our free Resource Center, or call our office at (201) 815-8173.

1. An Improved Quality of Life for Children in Your Area – When you offer ongoing parent education and support programs, you impact kids’ day to day lives.  With adequate support, parents experience greater patience, efficacy, and satisfaction.  And while these may seem like small changes, they are huge improvement to the kids who experience them first-hand.
2. Deeper Relationships – We all struggle with parenting at times.  When you offer practical, effective parent support programs, you’re giving individuals a chance to be “real” and connect with one another.  This results in deeper, more meaningful relationships within your organization.  In addition, participants experience a sense of relief (“We’re not the only ones!”) and begin to create meaningful support networks within your organization.
3. Outreach - By offering parent education and support programs, you’re providing an opportunity for individuals who are new to your community to connect and plug in.  This results in new members who feel fully embraced, accepted, and welcomed.
4. Early Intervention – Ongoing parent education allows families to access the help they need, when they need it.  As a result, children experience the benefit of early intervention, which can potentially impact on long-term outcomes.
5. Hope - Done effectively, the parenting education and support programs you offer can serve as a powerful antidote to the isolation that many families experience in today’s society.

Ready to get started?  Visit our free Resource Center, or call our office at (201) 815-8173.

• The first printable chore chart is designed to help you expose your kids to a variety of chores, such as vacuuming and helping you fold laundry.
• The second printable chore chart is designed to guide your kids through a series of daily tasks, such as making their beds, putting their toys away, and cleaning up after themselves.

Both charts can be adapted to suit the needs of your family and the ages of your children.

~Jennifer Wolf, PCI Certified Parent Coach^® & Director of Equipping Families.